Team Australia...Go yeah!!

This is getting ridiculous. I don't have enough room on my side-bar to post all the buttons already made by other more talented bloggers for Team Australia in the 2006 Knitting Olympics.

So here they are:

And here are some more:

And the wombats:

And a tag as a first-time sock knitter:

And a tag or two as a member of Team DPN:

Plus of course the original Knitting Olympics Tag:

And for the purists:

The only way to cope:

Good grief!!!

Gearing up for the Knitting Olympics

If I was any kind of patriot (and the owner of a blog read by thousands instead of a few), I would be organising a Knit-along for the Commonwealth Games which are being held in Melbourne from March 15 to 26 this year.

The only problem is only a handful of countries (ie: Commonwealth countries) compete in these games and the Australians are expected to wipe the floor against most of them - at least in the swimming. Swimming is possibly the only sport where it is harder for the athletes to make it into the Australian team than to win the international event.

Winter Olympics rates slightly lower on the radar for most Australians as we have very little ice or snow, although no Aussie will ever forget when speed skater Steve Bradbury won a gold by being too far behind the other skaters to get caught up in a collision which took all the other competitors down. As literally the only man left standing, he skated into gold medal place and Australian sporting history. Lest anyone knock Steve for his lucky break, there are very very few people in the world who could qualify on their own merit into a men's Olympic speed-skating final.

Not surprisingly, the Winter Olympics rate more highly in Canada which is why a Canadian blogger who goes by the name Yarn Harlot decided to set up the Knitting Olympics to coincide with the games. Already there are more than 2500 registered knitters for the program, far exceeding the number of athletes registered for the official Winter Olympics. I signed up today as an official Australian participant and I have the cute button on my side-bar.

The idea is to start and finish a challenging project during the life of the Olympics (February 10-26). I selected a pair of socks as I have never yet managed to complete a pair.

For anyone who questions knitting as a winter sport, curling has been included in the Winter Olympics for many years.

As part of my preparation (training) I will attempt to finish the short-row ribbed scarf before the Olympics begin.

For the designer label baby...

It's amazing how quickly this hat knitted up once I finished the irritating knit-one purl-one rib.

Hopefully it will pass muster with the Designer Label Baby's mother.

One thing about kids is that they are a great leveler. A grumpy toddler having a tantrum is just as annoying whether he is wearing Big W or Gap or Gucci. And kids have no appreciation for labels. In fact, evil bitch that I am, I can't wait to hear about the DLB having his first nappy leak while wearing his Baby Osh Kosh jeans...

Years ago I visited a friend who was living as a single mum with her toddler in one room. The kid happily played with my car keys while his mother and I played with the Fisher Price toy I had brought as a gift. She always felt guilty about how "deprived" he was as a young child. Fortunately things improved for her and last time I visited she had had two more kids and was living in a beautiful suburban house. Her youngest child, surrounded by every modern toy a child could want, spent the afternoon running happily around the house holding a broom and wearing an ice-cream bucket for a helmet.

Hopefully the DLB's mother will allow her son to enjoy such affordable pastimes.

Back to knitting instead of venting

OK, the last two posts were a bit on the long side for a blog but I had some issues to deal with AND they were even related to knitting.

I am going to try for the first time to post pictures using Photobucket as uploading via blogger is at best limited (as to where the pictures will appear) and at worst frustratingly impossible (whenever there are strange server problems).

So may I present my designer baby hat in progress (Opal 6-ply sock yarn, basic beanie pattern but I am going to make up a tag stating 'Maggie B original' which hopefully will impress the hell out of the mother while giving a good giggle to those people who know what I really mean). I'm really friends with the aunt of this baby; the mother is not quite as awful as she sounds (she's actually quite a decent person) but one of her aims in life is to own a Lexus 4WD to drive between designer boutiques in inner-city Melbourne, so we don't have a lot in common.

I cast on 90 stitches on 3.25mm dpns; the first 6 cms were a royal pain being in single-rib but now I have moved onto the stocking stich (knit around and around and around) it's much quicker. I'll probably finish it early next week as I am only knitting it in the evenings.


And here is part of the short-row ribbed scarf (about half-way done); this is my tram/train/lunchtime project. There are a few mistakes as I have been learning as I go (see Mine is to reason WHY...) but all in all I'm quite happy. I'm confident of patching up any holes but I'm still not sure whether I should try and do something with the mis-sized rib parts (what I don't know) or just ignore them because"they add character and prove it was hand-knitted and not made by a machine or robot". I suspect the latter view will prevail.

Details: Noro Kureyon Colourway 148 knitted on 6mm needles.

How not to run a business

Dear XXX,

I just thought you might like to know why I won't be returning to your yarn store or recommending it to any of my friends.

I have to admit the "up to 50 percent off" sign did grab my attention. Not that I was expecting it to actually mean anything. I imagined a basketful of odd-balls and maybe a few multiple balls of yarn in a strange colour that didn't catch on last season. That's what it usually means.

What I didn't expect was a basketful of odd-balls with regular prices inflated far above anything I have seen elsewhere. I guess it is easy to offer 30 percent off Patons Lush, for example, if your regular price is 25 percent higher than the regular price anywhere else. Your discount price worked out to be the regular price I can buy that yarn for at most other stores - although I usually get it for less because they offer genuine 10-20 percent discounts. I didn't even consider any of the other so-called discount yarns once I recognised that anomaly.

I had really come in to check-out the hand-painted yarns that you are famous for, and I have to admit they are beautiful. Despite the high price tag I was still tempted to buy the rainbow shawl kit but I think you demonstrated a poor sense of business by charging me $1.00 for a pattern that I could download for free off your website and which basically amounts to casting on 70 stitches on 20 mm needles and knitting 2 rows of garter stitch in each colour. I'll give you a clue. Most yarn stores give such simple patterns away for FREE when someone buys nearly $50 worth of yarn. Especially since it is only half a page that might have cost you a whole $0.05 to copy at Officeworks.

But the creme de la creme of my whole shopping experience was the way you ripped me off an extra $0.80 on the needles I bought at your store. They were clearly marked $9.50 but you charged $10.30. OK, I should have checked the addition more carefully before signing the credit card charge. My fault. But yours too. Maybe the $9.50 was the pre-GST price and the real price was $10.30 but it is bad business to mislead people that way. I was probably only ripped off about $1.75 in total by you. Less than a cup of coffee. In the greater scheme of things, not that important at all.

But at the end of the day I have an unpleasant memory of visiting your store and I will not be returning. Buying yarn at a local yarn store is more than just a business transaction. It has to be a pleasant experience or else we might as well all stay home and purchase via the internet.

Yours sincerely,

Maggie B

PS: I have decided to use the rainbow yarn for something more exciting and deserving than a stupid garter shawl.

Mine IS to reason why...

Once upon a time in a terrible place not far enough away I was an employee in a call centre run by an evil controlling micro manager.

This micro manager was concerned with all the important things. Like if I said 'bye' instead of 'good-bye'. If I used the client's name 3 times, even if they just rang up to confirm something simple. And she would never, ever deign to explain why something had to be done a certain way because if I was a good employee I would do exactly as I was told every minute of the day even if there were 1,995,974,327 little rules to obey and she wouldn't tell me which were the really really important ones to get right and which ones there was some latitude on. Because as a good little robot employee I was supposed to get them all right all the time.

Then one day a visitor from another part of the organisation told me something simple. He explained why it was important to use one particular phrase when granting clients an extension of time to pay their bills instead of another. Apparently they had slightly different legal meanings which could result in a huge difference if the client never paid their bill and we had to take them to court.

And the funny thing was that from that day I ALWAYS used the correct phrase because now I knew WHY it was important. I still messed up lots and lots of the other little rules because no-one ever explained to me why they were important. But I never messed up enough to be fired and one day my saviour came and swept me away to a new job in accounts away from the evil micro manager. And years and years later I heard she had left the organisation under a dark cloud for claiming to be sick when instead she was down at the pub. So it all ended happily ever after, if not quite as quickly as I would have liked.

"So what has all this got to do with knitting?" you may ask.

Well although my mum taught me how to cast on and knit and purl, I have taught myself most of my knitting skills from books and magazines and articles and blogs on the internet. And wonderful as all these resources are, they often exclude the little 'why' tidbits that one person teaches another when passing on the love of a craft. Every now and then I can feel the gears turning over in my head as I realise something that is so blatantly obvious that no-one ever actually explains it but which would have been really really useful to know one project back.

For instance, in my current short row ribbed scarf (yeah, yeah, pictures will come one day when I find the camera), the author gives out the tidbit of information that the "slip, slip, knit" decrease is preferable to the "slip one, knit one, pass slipped stitch over" decrease because it forms a tighter and neater decrease. Which probably explains why my first short row scarf was a lot bumpier than the one pictured in the pattern.

So of course I use the "slip, slip, knit" decrease on this scarf and surprise, surprise - no bumpy joins!

Now grateful as I am now for that bit of information, I can now add two more little tidbits to anyone else learning their knitting skills by perusing blogs like mine. And which would have been so easy for this author to include except she didn't because it was so blatantly obvious to anyone who knows what they are doing.

Firstly, if you choose to knit this short row ribbed scarf pattern (which I highly recommend as it is quite a fun pattern which gives a nice result and an interesting variant on the standard scarf), you will find it a lot easier if you realise it is a 3,3 ribbed pattern (that is 3 rows of stocking stitch alternating with 3 rows of reverse stocking stitch). This tiny tidbit of knowledge will save you hours of counting stitches trying to work out what row you are up to BECAUSE IT WON'T MATTER. IT WILL BE BLATANTLY OBVIOUS. YOU WILL AUTOMATICALLY KNOW WHETHER TO KNIT OR PURL A ROW BECAUSE YOU UNDERSTAND THE WHY of the pattern.

Sorry for shouting, but I can't help getting excited when I've worked out something.

I just wished I had worked it out before muffing up a section early in the scarf which I hope no-one will notice except me.

The second tidbit gem has to do with the business of slipping stitches knitways or purlways. Now it is important to follow these guidelines as if you don't, at least with the short rows scarf, you will end up with a hole in the middle of your work.

But again, you don't need to follow the written pattern blindly, if you understand the WHY behind this business. When doing short rows you turn around the work before you get to the end of the row and if you are changing which side the 'bumps' are on it is important to wrap the yarn around the turn stitch or else you end up with a hole. You automatically wrap the yarn when making sure the stitch is slipped knitways or purlways but GUESS WHAT! If you concentrate on ensuring the turn stitch is 'wrapped', it becomes obvious whether you need to slip knitways or purlways.

Hopefully this will make sense to someone and help them on their knitting way.

But if they are like me they will be reading this as they look at their last project thinking "so that's why it ended up bumpy and full of holes. Wish I had read this before I knitted it."

I'll just go away now and stitch up a few holes in my scarf that formed before I worked out this wrapping and slipping business for myself.

Oh sweet glorious cool change!

Oh sweet glorious cool change! I had forgotten what normal weather was like. 23 degrees Celsius (69 degrees Fahrenheit). I knitted 1 1/2 more sections on the short-row ribbed scarf while on the train and tram going to and from work. I arrived at work with only a slightly damp bandana around my head instead of dripping in my own sweat. And everyone was just so more cheerful now the oppressive damp has passed. Even if they were sleepy from staying up watching the tennis.

I did the walk from the city to South Melbourne. I've decided this is definitely the way to start the day. No matter what else happens, how little I achieve, I've at least done 30 minutes of walking for the day. And it is far more pleasant than being crammed in a tram.

Lots of people do this walk - most wired for sound with earphones dangling. I love my i-pod but I'm disturbed by the way it can cut one off from one's surroundings; create a little isolationist's world. I think of cyborgs. I decide to save my i-pod for the gym and look around me as I walk.

I look at Melbourne in a totally different way since traveling overseas. Start at Flinders Street Station with the ancient but still working clocks, look across to St Paul's which is making a building appeal - before I know it we'll be like most European cities with scaffolding and constant renovations propping up the old buildings. Across from St Paul's is Federation Square a quirky new construction which is growing on me with time. As long as I don't walk there. I don't mind the buildings on odd angles but I find it too easy to trip on the sloping cobblestones. I attended a workers' rally in Federation Square last year. Times have changed since the 1905 workers' uprisings in Russia. Today we watch a multi-media presentation on the giant screens and take digital photos and contact friends with our mobile phones. And my grandfather thought watching the destruction of the Berlin Wall on TV was bizarre enough.

Past the Art Gallery with its Water Wall - I love Melbourne and its people. I remember as a kid with my brother and mum leaning up against the Water Wall. The arty-farty types when they renovated the National Gallery wanted to remove it permanently. It wasn't artistic enough. But Melbournians rose up in protest and wrote letters and rang up talk shows. It might be daggy but it is OUR Water Wall and we love it. So it was reinstated after the renovations and children still run up to press their hands against it. What could be better on a hot day in the city but a trip to the Water Wall?

Even on the hottest day, the lawns of the St Kilda Road boulevard remain fresh and green and the English trees provide plenty of shade. I don't know how they manage it, how they resist the sapping dryness of the Australian sun. I hope they are using recycled-water.

Past the College of the Arts. Sculptures - I like the abstract suggesting wrestling and a compact grey stone that just begins to emerge as a fist. But the perfect dancers playing a flute and holding a shell leave me cold. They look like they should be atop a bird bath in a Toorak garden.

Next is the floral clock, where perfectly position flowers provide a face for the mechanical hands. The Army barracks in a magnificent stone building. An ancient cannon decorates the lawn. I can just hear my husband whispering "The latest in Australian Army technology!"

More floral decorations. This time the flowers celebrate Melbourne's hosting of the 2006 Commonwealth Games. The buildings on the other side of the road are dull and uninteresting. A giant grey square entitled "The Melbournian". No wonder people think we are backwards.

Past the Governor's residence. I will never forget the day when as a school girl I witnessed an accident caused in his honour. Police car sirens screamed from his road, traffic slammed to a halt. One car was not fast enough and slammed into the back of another. The police cars roared passed, oblivious to the accident they had caused. They were escorting the Governor's car down St Kilda Road causing chaos to peak hour traffic. I never found out why it was so important for him to be rushed so quickly away from home.

Back on the west side of the road a modern interpretation of a Georgian hotel, complete with Sushi Express cafe. I can never see myself buying sushi there; the atmosphere is just wrong for that kind of food.

There is always a tram jam at the Domain Road interchange. I turn down Albert Road, past the construction site and the first group of cafes and lesser office buildings. Across Kingsway I see my old school, Macrob, in all its architectural gory. I never understood what was so impressive about its cream bricks and red and purple windows but it has been heritage listed. At least two of my former teachers are still there - and I graduated 18 years ago. For all its imperfections it is a good school and teachers, as well as students, compete to attend.

Albert Park Lake is in the distance. I still haven't managed to organise myself to go for a walk around the lake at lunchtime.

My office is a short way up a side street off Albert Park Road. I am always surprised at how quickly I come up to it; I expect the walk to be longer. But I check my watch and inevitably 30 minutes have passed.

And today's non-knitting is brought to you by Melbourne's weather

I know this is meant to be a knitting blog, not a weather blog, but any Melbournian who claims to have knitted this week is either 1/ Lying or 2/ Owner of a far better air-conditioning system than me.

It's been HOT. There have been some terrible bushfires in the country, including my beloved Kinglake. I'm trying to be happy that it's raining on the basis that the firemen are happy but it seems we have substituted desert heat for tropical jungle heat. I felt like I was walking through steam to work yesterday.

None of this is very conducive to knitting.

It looks like I'll be knitting another hat as one of my friend's sisters has popped out a baby. At least it has a chance of being worn this winter, unlike, say, booties which I have never seen any baby wear except for photos or to show to someone who made them. Not that I'm holding my breath. A handmade item doesn't have a designer label on it but there is no way I'd ever buy a designer item or this kid will be allowed near a Target outfit.

Before we started our fifth heatwave of the season I had done a few pattern repeats on a short row rib scarf I am knitting. As you can probably tell, I'm going through a short row scarf phase. I had seen this pattern but would never have considered it based on the photo except I saw a photo on another blog of someone who did it in a multi-coloured yarn and it looked fabulous. I had a pack of Noro Kureyon Colour 148 at home which was just begging to be knitted. I love the way the scarf is turning out but the colours aren't 'me' - too much olive and not enough purple. So it will be a gift.

I've also started a long-stitch kit that I bought at the Op-Shop last year. It's of the Barrier Reef and had not been started - the packaging was just a bit damaged. So it was a good buy. Long-stitch is for kids and ADD adults who want a super-quick result. I'm not overly fond of them (it feels like cheating) but I love the pattern and colours on this one.

And hi to Susan (if she is reading this). Although I mainly write this for myself, I like to put in something for everyone and there are some people who aren't happy unless they can pick up a few mistakes. I've fixed them up now :)

Looks like another baby project

Well the good news is that Rachel is definitely healthy and does not have gestational diabetes. The doctor sent her for tests after it seemed that she was producing quite a large baby. The bad news (for me at least) is that I will definitely have to come up with another birth present. Which is fine. I'd rather she gave birth to a large healthy child than a small and sickly one.

I'll finish off the cardigan I started. One of my friends is tossing around the idea of having a craft night as a fundraiser for her charity and I'm sure a cardigan for a small newborn baby will sell well. Not that I've got much knitting done. It was 40 degrees yesterday and will hit 43 today (109 in the shade for any Americans).

I started my new job last week. I'm still feeling around as to what I should do although they have written all sorts of nice things about me in the organisation's magazine. I seem to have two quite distinct and separate roles. One is to come up to speed on all aspects of salary packaging and the related tax implications for members as this is one aspect of my boss' job that he definitely wants me to take over. The second is to research and understand the local and international labour market as it affects our members. A third role, which I'll be trained in, is learning how to evaluate jobs in the brave new world of Australia's Industrial Relations system so our members know what their fair market value is.

I've started a multi-directional ribbed short-row scarf to work on the tram/train going to and from work but put it aside for a book when the weather started heating up. The really good part of my new job is that it is easy to build 45-60 minutes walking per day into it. It's a lovely flat 30 minute walk mostly along a shady boulevard from the city into work in the mornings, when the trams are packed anyway. Two nights last week I also walked back into the city after work - the other days I still had to walk 10-15 minutes to catch a tram. It was tough the first few days but I can tell my body is getting used to it.

More knitting news when the weather returns to something approaching normality.

I'm still alive

I'm feeling really guilty for not posting for a while, not the least because a couple of my friends, the proud parents of a shit-producer who I so wantonly insulted a few posts back, bought me a set of bamboo needles as a belated birthday present.

Not a pair, but a set of 8 pairs of bamboo needles, ranging in size from 3mm to 6mm, in its own lovely needle case.

It was one of the most thoughtful presents that I never expected to get from non-knitters. I have so many multiple pairs of plastic and metal needles that I could not justify buying bamboo needles just to try them out because I had read so many other blogs praising them.

Not that I've had a chance to try them out because I started my new job this week and am getting into the swing of things. Plus summer is back with a vengeance - 35 degrees today and tomorrow.

But at least I've started walking everyday - 30 minutes from the city to work, so I'm not kicking myself.

Knitting for a newborn

Here's hoping that Rachel doesn't pop out an extra-big baby this time. I've done the body of the cardigan and it is about 16 inches around which according to what I can find on the internet is about the right size for a full-term newborn baby. So I figure her kid will have about six weeks to poop all over it before it grows into the next size.

I've only spent a couple of days knitting it, so I'm not too stressed if it only gets a couple of months wear. I'm sure to knit up something else by then.

When my friends had their first rounds of babies I made everything way too big - jumpers that they couldn't wear until they were 12-18 months old. I didn't want them to grow out of the clothes too soon.

This time around I am actually trying to knit something that will be usable within the first year.

Why I love kids (but have trouble with the parents)

As a knitter I have to love kids. Nothing says "instant gratification" like starting and finishing a baby's hat in an afternoon. Even jumpers and cardigans are time-friendly. It's a great way to try out new patterns and techniques because even if it is a disaster, one is only frogging a few hours instead of a few days worth of work.

I'm currently working on a seamless raglan baby cardigan for Rachel's baby due in about six weeks time. I'm almost half-way through the knitting. I'm making it is 6-ply self-patterning Opal sock yarn which means it will be a little smaller but in a worst case scenario it will be appropriate from birth to six months rather than 4 months to 10 months. I made about 3 of these for little Miss Gabi (now a sturdy 20-month-old who has very definite opinions about what she likes and doesn't like).

My friends with kids sometimes say "Oh it must be so boring for you" when I visit and they may be right but not in the way they think.

I love the kids. I love playing with them and reading to them. They are so interesting. You can see the cogs clicking in their brain as they work out how to do something and I love the way they will ignore an expensive toy and spend hours opening and closing a cardboard box.

Unfortunately the parents are no longer quite so interesting. All they do is talk shit. Literally. When they are babies we hear about the colour and consistency of the shit. And they seem to think they are offering you a great favour by offering you the opportunity to change their baby's shitty nappy.

"How do you cope with the smell," I gasp in agony.

"You don't notice the smell so much when it is your baby," they reply.

Oh yeah???

The next stage is when their little darlings discover how to take off their nappies and leave the shit-filled items in the most inconvenient place while running around the house naked. I realise this must be difficult for parents but must we hear about it in all its glorious technicolour detail?

The third stage is toilet training. Any conversation with the parents is peppered with constant interruptions of "Who needs to go to the toilet?" and the sobbing of a kid "I had an accident".

Not to mention the smell.

It's times like this that I love my cats that are born toilet-trained.

I realise that a cat cannot bring you the rewards that a kid can. But hopefully I do not bore my friends silly talking about their toilet habits.

PS: Any parents who are offended by the above can take great pleasure watching their kid poop all over the clothes I spent hours knitting for them instead of just spending the same amount of money and a hell of a lot less time purchasing something far more practical for them to wear from a chain store.

Reflections on my 35th birthday

I always swore I would never be one of those women who moan about getting old. As I read somewhere a long time ago, "The only alternative to growing old is dying young", which is something I'm not planning on doing.

I have heaps of older women role models amongst my mother's friends and my work colleagues. One of my best-ever bosses was a 50-something woman who got up at 4.00am each morning to take her dog for a walk and felled her own trees on her own farm. One of my mum's best friends qualified as a barrister at the age of 58. A 60-something woman I know runs writing workshops to help senior citizens write and publish their own memoirs. And after my mum's death at far too young an age (58) my dad took up with a brilliant intelligent older lady whose attitude and energy belay her late-60s age.

My grandfather was in his 80s when he made the memorable comment "I'm going to Montfiore (Aged care nursing home) to visit the old people". He lived until he was 93 and up until the week he died he was plotting how he could return to live in his flat following a massive heart attack. His mind was as sharp as a tack; it was his body that eventually let him down.

So I have plenty of role models showing me that age isn't a number; it is an attitude. But I must confess, on my 35th birthday, for the first time I am feeling maybe a tinsy bit old in a negative way. And I don't like this one little bit.

Maybe it's because I haven't yet had children and the biological clock is ticking away. Maybe it is a reflection of society's attitudes which ooze like poison via osmosis into the brain. Maybe it is because I know my health and fitness isn't as ideal as it could be and I'm probably at my last chance of avoiding following my mother's footsteps of high blood pressure, Type II diabetes, heart disease and early death.

Next week I start a new job; the first one where I have been employed as an experienced grown-up with valuable skills and experience, rather than as a bright young thing
with potential, at the entry-level.

Maybe on my 35th birthday I have finally grown up.

Good grief, another hat!

I swear this is the last hat that I am knitting for a long time. It is yet another beanie made for yet another relative in America. The problem is that one can't knit beanies for three of the relatives and ignore the other two. No, I ended up having to knit a beanie for everyone.

This is yet another worthy stash-burner project. I had some left-over hand-dyed 'stormy skies' yarn from Highland Cottage Crafts off eBay. As you can see it is a lovely colour. It wasn't enough for a hat so I 'stretched' it by knitting a few rounds in some left-over purple Cleckheaton yarn that blended nicely.

I've decided this is going to my mother-in-law while my sister-in-law will get the pinky purple alpaca beanie. My father-in-law gets the grey worthy beanie and bother-in-law the cream beanie I made out of scrap wool last year. Isabella of course gets the pony hat.

I've now picked up a drop-stitch shawl that I started last April during a union conference. It's very easy and great for mindless TV watching knitting but it's got to the awkward size where I can really only knit it at home, so I'm going to have to find another project to keep me busy on the trams when I return to work next week.

Isabella's pony hat

This beanie is for my niece, Isabella, who lives in America. I really wanted to make it Australian-themed with a kitsch koala or kangaroo pattern but my husband convinced me that horses might be better given that Isabella has riding lessons every week and is in love with her pony.

I got the pattern out of one of my Liz Gemmel Australiana knitting books - it's supposed to be brumbies (wild horses in the Australian high country) but I'm sure Isabella will assume it is her pony.

This is almost as virtuous as the worthy beanie - it is made out of the remainder of some pink 8ply yarn that I used to knit a jumper for Isabella last year and some tan Patons yarn that I inherited from my mother and which probably dates back to the 1970s. So no extra money spent on this either. Which is a good thing as the credit card is severely strained by my need to purchase some professional-looking clothes for my new job which starts next week.

I hate Spotlight

I know I am a fully-fledged yarn-snob Knitaholic now because I went to visit my local Spotlight (translation for non-Australians: big chain craft store) to buy some 3.75 mm dpns & left feeling rather nauseous at the sight and prices of their latest selection of novelty acrylic yarn.

(Of course if I was a TRUE Knitaholic I would have spent $18.00 plus postage on Addi bamboo dpns but I decided a could still cope with the $4 Birch versions as they are aluminum. But no more cheap plastic dpns - I am seriously thinking of tossing those I currently have as they are a bitch to knit with. But I digress...)

Spotlight is selling some acrylic novelty crap for $8/ball. EIGHT FUCKING DOLLARS!!! WHO BUYS THIS CRAP??? Especially when you can buy 100 percent pure Australian wool for around $3/ball. The mind boggles.

Carol S of Go Knit In Your Hat has written a wonderful article entitled 'The myth of cheap big-box craft store yarn', comparing the prices of various brands and qualities of yarn available in America. Read it, even if you are not in America. Because it is certainly equally true for Australia and I suspect most of the world. Basically she proves there is usually a cheaper and better quality substitute for many crap yarns,

Now I have been known to lash out up to $14.50/ball on Noro yarn (before I discovered my Canadian supplier) so I know how to spend money on yarn. But at least Noro is beautiful unique multi-coloured quality wool that is a joy to knit with. I don't want to think how much money I have wasted on crappy novelty yarns that ended up producing a scarf worthy of the Reject Shop or that was eventually donated to the local Op-shop or sold at a loss on eBay.

I never have the same urge to toss or otherwise rid myself of the pure wool and mohair in my stash because I know I am going to want to use it eventually. It's just a matter of finding the time.

Fortunately today I was not in the slightest way tempted by the $8/ball novelty yarn because someone in the store had thoughtfully displayed a jumper knitted in that yarn which was enough to scare off any sane person. And contemplate a contribution to You Knit What.

The Worthy Beanie

This is a beanie non-knitters will understand. It is a durable classic beanie made out of 100 percent Australian wool. The knitting is even and the hat is warm. It will last years, probably decades. The yarn would have cost less than $6. It is left-over from a jumper I made a couple of years ago so as far as I'm concerned I haven't spent anything extra on it. It took less than a day to knit.

It is very worthy. And very very boring.

The purpose of pompoms

What a difference a pompom makes!

"Is that a cock and ball warmer for a horse?" asked my husband rather rudely when I showed him the hat sans pompom (please note, I had already decided a pompom was required but couldn't resist showing off my masterpiece).

I had a day off work. I had a heap of New Year Resolutions to clean up the house and go to the gym. I had one ball of Noro Kureyon and a small amount of purple alpaca yarn left. So of course I made another hat. For a friend's birthday. In June.

I'm planning ahead.

First Finished Objects for 2006

Because what one needs in the middle of an Australian summer heatwave is yet another woolen hat and scarf combination.

The yarn is my favourite Noro Kureyon (colour 134); the patterns are Multidirectional Scarf and my own Noro Ribbed Hat design - both available free on the net.

After the freaky hot end to 2005 (we hit 43 degrees Celsius - that's 109 degrees Fahrenheit - in the shade on December 31) the weather has settled down to a much more pleasant mid-20s degrees Celsius (that's about 75 degrees Fahrenheit) temperature this week.

In terms of my NY resolutions - well yesterday I went to the gym, washed up the NYE party dishes and worked with my husband on the garden. And I didn't eat any junk food. I bought a 2006 diary, posted out a DVD I'd owed a friend for weeks and posted the accident report to my insurance company. Let's hope the RACV accepts it as they haven't been able to make contact with the driver that ran into the back of my husband. It seems that despite all the advertisements that say that if you are able to identify the other driver in a no fault accident, you won't be hit with an excess charge, if the other driver doesn't answer phone calls and letters from the insurance company, we could still be hit with a $450 excess charge. Which is so not fair. What else could my husband do but get the name, address, phone number and registration of the other driver?

The Resolution and The Reality

Has anyone else noticed that New Year's Eve is probably the worst possible time to resolve to change one's life and one's bad habits? January 1 is the one day of the year nearly everyone is guaranteed to wake up at best sleep deprived, and at worst hung-over and with indigestion following the partying of the night before. Which hardly sets the scene for life-improving resolutions.

Resolution: I will improve my diet and eat only healthy food.
Reality: Left-over chips and sausages from last night's party prove to be an irresistible lure.

Resolution: I will exercise every day.
Reality: Getting up from bed is about all the exercise one can cope with on New Year's Day.

Resolution: I will cut down on caffeine consumption.
Reality: There is no way I am going to get anything done on January 1 without a kick-start cup of coffee and can of coke at lunch.

Resolution: I will get on top of the housework.
Reality: It's January 2 and the remains of the New Year's Eve party are still piled around the house.

My New Year Resolutions don't take effect until the New Year's public holidays are over. Which is tomorrow. Which means I have another 24 hours to clean up the house, fill the fridge with salad and ensure my gym gear is washed and available. At least this way, I have a fighting chance.

And from something I saw on another blog:

In the year 2006 I resolve to: Stop being a productive member of society. Get your resolution here

Holy Friggin Heatwave Batman!

The temperature hit 42 degrees Celsius in the shade yesterday and the same is predicted for today. That translates to 108 degrees Fahrenheit for Americans who have yet to be dragged into the metric age. Or friggin hot in anyone's language.

So I am not expecting to finish the multi-directional scarf this year. I plan to spend the last day of 2005 in front of the fan eating icy poles and sleeping.

The scarf now measures about 185 cm - I'm planning on making it about 240 cm (or 8 feet in Americanese). Life's too short to wear skimpy scarves.

Happy 2006 everyone.

It's 35 degrees celcius outside

And my husband complains that when I knit in the middle of summer I make him feel hot.

Go figure.

So that's why I have not yet finished the multi-directional scarf.

Of course it has nothing to do with me knitting another section in completely the wrong direction and having to rip it out.

Or going fruit picking determined to eat my money's worth of the $5 entry fee to the cherry orchard and paying the inevitable price.

It's really annoying. Even though I still feel mentally 14, my body keeps on insisting on reminding me that it is over 30 and unable to digest 3 kilograms of cherries eaten over a one hour period, the same way that is could 20 years ago.

And I bought another 1980s Australiana knittern pattern book from Ebay over Christmas. Photos coming soon.

Well that will serve me right for getting smug

Did I actually claim the multi-directional scarf was easy for mindless knitting in front of the TV?

God is obviously out to punish me for such smugness as I have absolutely zilch knitting achievement to report today. It was bad enough dropping a stitch and having to rip back an entire section to pick it up again. But then I managed to re-knit that section in completely the wrong direction, so my scarf had a bend in it. So I've had to rip it back again.

Serves me right for focusing so much on Christopher Reeve while watching Superman on DVD. Now that is a classic film. When men were men, films had plots and actresses looked like real women.

Multi-directional scarf

This is one of those patterns which gives an impressive result with surprisingly little effort. I used to be really intimidated by phrases like "short rows" thinking this was something only advanced knitters did. But at the end of the day this is a pretty simple garter-stitch scarf that one can work on pretty mindlessly while watching TV.

I am knitting it out of the ubiquitous Noro Kureyon colour 134 which is perfect for this pattern - it would be pretty pointless knitting this out of a solid colour.

I think I'm finally getting over my Noro addiction - don't get me wrong, I still love the yarn and think it is perfect for hats and scarves but I found myself thinking I might use a thinner yarn for my next jumper.

For anyone who wants the pattern, click here.

2 more hats

If my new job doesn't work out, maybe I will set up a market stall selling hats. I finished these two over the past couple of days.

The purple hat on the left is made out of an alpaca/wool/acrylic blend and is for my mother-in-law. I haven't decided if I like or loath this yarn. It feels soft and lovely but is a bit too soft to hold a garment's shape. Also, like most alpaca yarn, it sheds. So it looks and feels gorgeous at the moment but I have no faith this hat will still look good in a year's time.

The brown hat on the right is a brimless ribbed beanie made out of the "left-over" handspun possum fur/merino wool yarn that I bought to make a hat for my husband's birthday. So now we can do the boring couple thing of going out in (almost) matching hats. It's making me feel a bit better about the amount of money I spent on this yarn -- I would never have believed I could have got 2 hats out of a 110 gram skein.

It's a strange thing but possums are a protected species in Australia but an environmental threat in New Zealand which has a budding industry in producing soft, lightweight and extra-warm possum fur yarn.

The hat above was made of a handspun 50:50 possum fur/merino wool blend yarn bought from a New Zealand fibre artist on eBay.

I made the above hat as a belated birthday present for my husband, just in time for the Australian summer. The weather is predicted to hit 32 degrees Celsius (about 90 degrees Fahrenheit) tomorrow.

I still have a fair bit of yarn left so I may end up making a matching hat for myself.

The Japanese South American Larger Lady Australian vest

OK, they are not the best photos but at least they are evidence that shock horror I have managed to finish something (although it could probably do with a second block on the crochet edging).

My husband is calling this my South American vest although it is made with Japanese Noro Kureyon yarn (colour 134). But it is edged with Peruvian alpaca.

I made so many adaptions to the side-to-side knit pattern (as I decided to knit it in stocking-stitch rather than garter and to adapt it to my rather large frame) that it is a bit pointless to put a link to the original pattern.

But one thing worth noting is that it doesn't take up as much yarn as you may think - I used 4 50 gram skeins of Noro and about 1/2 of a 50 gram ball of alpaca - those who take a small size may only require 3 skeins of Noro. So it may be something to consider as an alternative to the ubiquitous scarf/hat set (not that there is anything wrong with that!)

How did I survive without these?

NeedleLite Lighted Knitting Needles. Proof positive that you can buy anything on Ebay.

Perfect for knitting fun fur (as illustrated).

Only US$39.95 plus postage.

I am sure the supplier won't mind me quoting her advertisement as I have a link to the product should any reader be tempted.

NeedleLite, be the first to enjoy this new innovation in the knitting industry!

These needles are great for knitting in low-light or dark conditions. You'll never drop another stitch because of poor lighting. The gentle glow of the needles illuminates your work without disturbing others. Light-weight and easy to use. Soothing plastic needles are more comfortable than metallic needles.

LED bulb lasts 50,000 hours. Long-life batteries are installed and ready to use. Typical battery life is 48 hours of continuous use. Easy instructions for battery replacement are included.

This product makes a great gift for any knitting afficionado.

Seller accepts PayPal only.

Buyer pays $5.75 for US Postal Service Priority Mail shipping.

We have a NO RETURN policy.

(Jeez, wonder why?)

Tempting as it sounds, I think I might restrain myself. Although after all the hype, I might consider a set of Addi Turbos.

Blocking the vest

Much to my own surprise I seem to have overcome some of the procrastination that has been weighing me down the past few weeks, and have finished the basic knitting for the vest. Above is a picture of part of the vest being blocked (I couldn't get the right angle to take a photo of it fully stretched out). It only took 4 skeins of Noro Kureyan (colour 134).

The original pattern calls for it to be edged in i-cord and I have some very nice pinky purple yarn that goes well with the Noro. I've started making the i-cord on a kid's French Knitting Bee (like the old Knitting Nancy) but I don't think it will look quite right. I'm now thinking of a simple single-crochet edging instead.

So that's what a wool-winder is for...

Have you ever looked at those old-fashioned pictures of one person holding a skein of yarn and another winding a ball of wool and wondered "why?"

Or looked at those strange mechanical wool-winding apparatus for sale on EBay and wondered "who would buy this?"

Well I have now discovered the answers to these questions. I purchased the above skein of yarn, a glorious blend of merino wool and New Zealand possum fur (don't scream; in New Zealand possums are pests destroying the native flora and fauna, and have to be culled, so it is good to know their lovely coats are being put to a positive use rather than just rotting in the ground) off eBay. It came in one very long skein that simply had to be wound into a ball so I could use it.

"Shouldn't be too hard," I thought (first mistake) as I slipped the skein around my neck (second mistake) and began to wind a ball.

At first it was easy. Then the yarn began to tangle. I tugged it (third mistake) and nearly strangled myself.

I could just see the news headlines. "Woman strangled to death by own knitting. Trans-Tasman Trade Dispute. Australia blames New Zealand for exporting dangerous goods. New Zealand claims it cannot be responsible for Australian stupidity."

I took the yarn off my neck and tried to work the tangles free. But it was too late. The damage had been done. And a 15 minute job stretched to 3 hours last night as I painstakingly worked the yarn through every twist and tangle, determined not to cut it.

By 10pm I had a beautiful ball of yarn. And was too tired to start knitting.

But tomorrow is a brand new day. The yarn is destined to be a hat for my husband; a belated birthday present (yes, for the middle of Australia's summer).

It's too late to start knitting tonight. I've spent the whole evening looking at wool winders on EBay.

Update 14/12/05

And as can be seen here, I actually started getting some knitting done today. This photo does not do this yarn justice; it's far less 'yellow' in real life.

Why yes, I am still alive

And I even knitted a few more rows on the Noro vest.

When I was 14 I wanted this dress

Now I wish I had the figure to wear it. I'm a patriotic dag!

Back to my own knitting

Yes I am still knitting myself. When I'm not ripping it back out.

I know it looks like a totally warped scarf that is wandering off in all directions but my current project is a side-to-side vest knitted in Noro Yarn. Yes, I too hope it looks a lot better when it is blocked and edged and finished. I'm probably almost half-way through the knitting.

I really don't know how it will all work out in the end as the original pattern was all garter-stitch but I thought that looked a bit home-made and amateur, so I'm adapting the pattern to a stocking stitch. And crossing my fingers and praying. And re-starting the project four times.

But hey, it's Noro wool. It looks and feels great. Whatever the pattern.

Patronisation of a Nation

I am proud to state that I never once considered knitting this monstrosity. Perky animals, birds and flags are one thing but this crosses the boundaries of any semblance of good taste. Whatever decade we are talking about.

The Aborigine is naked but devoid of facial features. I think he is supposed to be holding a spear but it looks like he's trying to roast a marshmallow over the tiniest wimpiest most American-cartoon-style fire imaginable.

And his boomerangs have shrunk into a silly trim on the sleeves and base of the jumper.

And this jumper is being modeled by an over-groomed Caucasian who has spent way too much time under the hair-dryer. WTF???

Queenslander Fair

Today's picture is another Liz Gemmell original, this time taken from Aussie Fair: Simple Fair Isle Knitting With Australian Motifs.

Liz has designed a garment in honour of each state. This cardigan is for Queensland - hence the pineapple and palm tree motifs.

Aussie Mates Knitting Bag

As you can see from my current knitting bag, I've never really got over from the 1980s. While it may look vintage 1980s kitsch, I actually bought it only a few weeks ago from a souvenir store in Swanston Street, Melbourne. It was supposed to be a present for my American sister-in-law but my husband seemed to think it was too childish for her. So I happily kept it for myself.

The knitting above is my current project - a 1980s-style vest in Noro yarn. It's knitted from side-to-side, so the stripes are vertical rather than horizontal. A lot of my recent knitting and frogging has been due to me trying to alter the pattern from garter-stitch to stocking-stitch. I think I have it right now. (Famous last words.)

Remember when Australia won the America's Cup?

And we all stayed up until 4am to watch a bloody yacht race?

And the well-inebriated prime minister, Bob Hawke, appeared on TV and uttered the immortal line: "I tell you what, any boss who sacks anyone for not turning up today is a bum."

(No, I can't imagine Howard saying that today either.)

It was 1983 and the queen of 1980's Australian knitwear design, Liz Gemmell, had to mark the occasion in her own way. In her own words:

"Knitted in Australia's colours of green and gold, this jumper brings to mind the unforgettable victory of Australia II in the America's Cup. The yoke takes its inspiration from the spinnaker of the famous yacht and is worked in picture knitting. AUSTRALIA is worked in Fair Isle method."

It's times like this that I am just so proud to be an Australian!

Little Aussie

This gem comes from The Australian Knitting Collection which is described as "an exclusive designer collection of 'Austrliana' knitting patterns. Specially produced by Softly" (a brand of wool washing detergent).

Just in case you couldn't tell by the hair, the book was published in 1984. I'm not sure if it was ever sold or if it was a freebie in return for buying x bottles of Softly. It's certainly quite a substantial booklet and features works by Australian designers of the day -- Jenny Kee, Lucia Russon and Lynette Murphy. I picked it up for $2.25 plus postage on eBay and consider it one of my best value purchases.

While there are far more kitsch patterns in the book, I love to imagine what the model - who is probably now about 30 - thinks when he looks back at this blow-dried hair photo of himself.

Proud Aussie Knitter

I haven't got much knitting news to report today (I think I'm frogging faster than I'm knitting lately), so I've decided to start a new series to showcase my collection of Australiana knitting patterns that I've gradually built up through purchases on Ebay.

One has to love the combination of 1980s style and patriotism.

Today I am featuring the cover photo from Paton's 'Proudly Australian'. I bought this pattern with the intention of one day knitting this jumper for my American inlaws.

Back to the old Husky

In many ways it was good I had the distraction of the Noro yarn and feather and fan scarf. Because Husky reached a disaster point and I needed a break.

After 3 attempts, I finally got one of the sleaves the right shape and length. I then slipped one the jumper to try it on, only to find that it was way too tight under the arm. Arghh!!!

I knew what I had to do, but I could barely manage it. I had to frog my perfect sleave, unpick the perfectly sewn shoulders and unravell a few rows of both the front and back. I then had to reknit the front and back so each was about four rows longer than previously, thus increasing the length of the armhole.

I finally faced the task last night. I am now almost back to where I was a month ago. Two steps forward, one step back; treading water in the knitting world.

Disclaimer - stolen button

See that new "Fun Fur is Muppet Murder" button? I saw it on another knitting blog, almost wet myself laughing, and downloaded it to my PC. My aim was to write to the blog-owner and ask if I could also use it as it was so funny.

Well for some reason I had to leave my computer immediately after I downloaded it and I forgot whose blog I stole it from. It wasn't one of the blogs I regularly read and I can't seem to stumble into it again.

So 1/ I am not claiming responsibility for the sheer brilliance of that button; and
2/ If you are the creator, please let me know. I hope you let me continue to use your artwork and I will give you full credit.

I decided to put the button on my site despite not being able to confirm permission from the copyright owner as I believe anyone with that sentiment would want it shared.

If you are the original creator and I am wrong, please let me know.

Feather and Fan Scarf Complete!

The film on Thursday night, a Japanese anime called Vampire Hunter D Bloodlust, required far too much watching to allow much knitting. Normally I don't like these amimes - the Japanese tend to channel all their repressed emotions into the most disgustingly violent and sexually perverse cartoons. But this one, although it had a bit of violence and sexual undertones, was actually quite good.

I was able to get a little knitting done in the Friday meeting; in between working the Power Point presentation and an answering a few questions about the implications of new tax legislation.
But in the end, most of the knitting was done while watching - or listening to - a DVD of the third Harry Potter film.

The scarf's final length is 94 inches (235 cm). I don't know how most people block scarves (I never have in the past) but I spread out a heap of towels on the floor of the living room and pinned it in place. It seemed to work.

I'm modeling the scarf with a ribbed hat made out of the same yarn (Noro colour 153). I'm quite pleased with how it turned out in the end. Just in time for the Australian summer!

At least something constructive was achieved in the meeting

Feather and Fan: currently 65 inches (162cm) in length; about 1/2 ball of Noro to go.

One thing I've always liked about telephone conference meetings is that I can sit and knit and know that something constructive is being achieved, no matter what crud is coming down the line.

I think some of my colleagues doubted my ability to knit and talk at the same time. Until I demonstrated this recently during a two-day face-to-face meeting.

The added bonus is that I got a lot of my scarf done in the process. If there is a decent show on TV, I might even finish it tonight. But then the question is what I will do in tomorrow afternoon's meeting.

Maybe start on another hat?

I think I have to attend way too many meetings.

Other people doodle or send text messages or sleep with their eyes open. I knit. But somehow this is regarded as less professional. At least by people who don't know you very well. Fortunately I now mainly hang around people who know me well and are willing to put up with my idiosyncrasies.

Half-way there: Feather and Fan

As of tonight, the Feather and Fan scarf is 92cm or 36 inches in length. So I'm about half-way done. I hate short scarfs; they always seem too cheap and wimpy unless I can wrap them around my neck with a decent length hanging down.

The other good thing about Feather and Fan is that it is fulfilling my desire to make a chunky 1970s-style crochet scarf. Because while this may be knitting, the lacework on a 10-ply yarn is extremely chunky. And the Noro yarn has such groovy psychadelic colours.

I haven't knitted as much as I would have liked because of the humid weather. Even if I can cope with knitting wool, my husband or work colleagues yell at me for making them hot by knitting in front of them. What the ???? So it becomes a secret hidden pastime, much like reading a really good novel in the bathroom.

Speaking of which, I'm reading Ursula le Guin's Changing Planes. She clearly came up with the concept while waiting at the airport for a delayed flight, wishing she could just close her eyes and visit another world. So that's what she does in this book. Well actually she visits lots of different worlds or planes of existance. It doesn't have the depth of many of her other novels and short stories but she demonstrates her incredible imagination in conjuring up new worlds. One gets the impression that she is "trying out" various new worlds that may or may not be expanded on in a later book.

Feather and Fan

I haven't blogged for the last couple of days because I haven't been knitting much the last couple of days. In a typical Melbourne way the weather jumped from a cool just getting over winter temperature to a full burst of summer, totally bypassing spring in the process.

But we've had a cool change and I can get back to knitting without my husband complaining about the sight of me knitting making him hot.

(Melbourne jokes: If you don't like the weather, wait an hour. It will change. Suitable clothing for a typical Melbourne day: shorts, t-shirt, thick jumper, raincoat, gum boots.)

I had this urge to try out the feather and fan scarf pattern using my Noro yarn. I thought 58 stitches would produce a way too wide scarf (it was designed for a much thinner yarn), so I am doing it over 38 stiches - ie: 2 pattern repeats with an extra knit stitch at each end.

I really liked the psychadelic 1960s effect of the pattern and Noro colours.

And I am relieved that the girls over at You Knit What deem that Feather and Fan is acceptable for accessories. The worrying thing is I am contemplating a jumper in this pattern.