Secret project

No photos today as I am working on a Secret Project for someone I am fairly sure reads this blog...

 

Hints:

• It is using up some super-bulky (16-ply) light grey wool from my stash
• It incorporates cables, now that I realise that cables are really, really easy but look impressive to the uninitiated
• It is a birthday present
• It is not being sent offshore

Tantalised yet???

Shameless photo stealing

Not only is Beth a really talented knitter, she is a much better photographer than me. Here are her photos of the scarf and chockies I sent her as part of ISE4.

Danica - the close-up

OK, it still needs blocking but as you can see from the close-up, even that won't solve the problem of the wrong side from looking like it is full of seams.

Apologies for the lack of photos but the rechargeable batteries in my camera have a half-life of approximately 3 seconds and are currently in their usual place (the recharger) instead of in the digital camera.

(Yes, I realise that photos are essential to a blog; it's a sort of modern-day version of Lewis Caroll's Alice who has no use for a book with pictures or conversation. Maybe my links are the modern version of conversation?)

I have finally finished Danica. It was a fun knit but in retrospect probably the worst possible technique for use in a scarf as the 'wrong' side looks very wrong (as if one has sewn together a whole heap of little squares and you are looking at the seam side) and a scarf is the one item where you are guaranteed to get a good view of both sides of the knitting. So 8/10 for the fun of knitting but not so high a score for the wearability of the final product. Mind you, the way fashions are nowadays with raw seams often on the outside of clothes, maybe it does work. But not for me. I will inflict it on a friend who is already the recipient of a jester-style hat made out of the same yarn - she's got the quirky personality to actually carry this off.

I haven't posted for a few days. I finally got over my cold and returned to my job on Monday to find that exactly none of my work had been done by anyone else in my absence. I wasn't surprised but this week has been a bit of a huge catch-up game for me.

And today I got an email from my ISE 4 pal Beth who has received my scarf and says she loves it. Plus of course the obligatory Australian chocolate which was included. Most Americans, I've noticed, go nuts over Australian chocolate whereas we go nuts over the Swiss chocolate. I wonder what the Swiss go nuts over (or do they merely acknowledge their superiority in chocolate-making as part of the natural course of things?) Beth is an amazingly talented spinner and sock knitter who produces beautiful items at an incredible rate. Mind you, I envy anyone who can knit a hole-free heal. LOL.

My other partner has been in regular contact and I am confident of receiving my scarf from her, probably towards the end of June (which is the official due date).

Favourite photos

These are my favourite photos taken in recent memory. From a knitting perspective, I am wearing 3 items of handknitting (the hat, scarf and jumper) and don't look completely ridiculous (although I do look like I'm dressed for the snow; it was a very cool Sunday morning but not snowing). And both Jeff and I are smiling and look like humans (as opposed to Shrek and Fiona body-doubles). The little boy is Joshua, the son of our good friends, Phill and Jess. He is so cute and adorable and for some reason really likes us. Last time we visited he was plotting ways for us to move into his house and allocating a space for our car in his parents' garage.

Can't knit... must sleep

The problem with being a basically healthy person is that I tend to get very grumpy when I get sick. It's nothing serious; just a head cold that needs lots of fluids, vitamin C, over-the-counter pills and rest.

I knew things were wrong on Tuesday night when I spent more time unravelling mistakes in my knitting than actually achieving anything. So knitting is out. The TV is annoying me so it is off but surprisingly I can still read. Well, for about 10 minutes before I fall asleep with the book on my face.

Smudgey, who has recovered well from his surgery, is setting an excellent example for me; he can sleep anytime, anywhere, including on top of me for company. He has become such a calm cat since his abscess was removed! I'm feeling really guilty as it looks like his klutziness and grumpiness was not just the result of middle-age (as we assumed) but probably related to the abscess - and he may have had it for years. That's the problem with our four-legged friends, they can't tell us "I have a sore butt". Smudgey is still lazy but not half the klutz or coward that he was; in the past he would just let his (smaller) brother dominate but over the past week he's shown a tendency to stand up for himself. Hopefully the boys will re-establish their territorial boundaries without hurting each other. We can't afford any more vet bills.

Jeff's being a good Yiddishe mamma and has put on a big pot of chicken soup for me. He's trying to take care of me and fussing around and I'm responding like a big grumpy cat that just wants to be left alone to sleep.

Monday 14 May 2007

Currently knitting: I've been gradually working my way through Danica. I think this scarf will be a birthday present for a friend in June.

I've been dying to try out illusion knitting. Except instead of a DNA helix I'd like to slip in a a reference to the original subversive knitter, Madam Defarge (Dickens). Must remember to finish projects before starting another! I still have a partially started sock and I want to knit another jumper for my friends' 3-year-old and maybe a jumper for myself...

On the Amazon wish list: My favourite blogger Crazy Aunt Purl is releasing a book in October. I am addicted to CAP as she is affectionately known by her readers. Her writing is hilarious and touching and sad and meaningful (often all at the same time) and so true that it just rips your heart out and is just begging to be made into a Bridget Jones-esque style film. After 10 years of marriage, CAP's husband walked out, telling her he needed to get his creativity back. Two weeks later he moved into a new apartment with a new girlfriend. CAP had a few girlfriends of her own who stood by her, coaxed her out of her house and into a knitting group and put up with some really bad cooking as she went through the ups and downs of rebuilding her life and becoming a self-actualised person. And she kept a diary of the process.

We never find out what happened to Mr X, but CAP found her own creativity, built up a readership of 10,000 people and got a book deal, all to the cheers of thousands of women and some men from around the world. She's now campaigning on all the other important issues like why do stores turn up their nose at stocking a basic collection of women's clothes in a wide range of sizes. Anyway, go to her site and read her blog from the beginning. And I bet you end up putting her book on your wish list too.

Book that should be burned: As a reader and book lover I don't generally advocate destruction but this particular volume is an insult to readers, knitters and human beings in general. It's a collection of photos of has-been and never-were so-called celebrities and their scarf "patterns" nearly all of which are "cast on X stitches and knit every row". Yep, we really need a book to tell us that.

Although if they did another volume and it included photos of Paris Hilton accidental strangling herself with a garter-knit scarf... well, I could be tempted :)

Look what I found at my local library

The knitting blogosphere has been buzzing with positive reviews and comments about Big Girl Knits ever since it came out (April 2006) because there are very few examples of figure flattering designs aimed at larger women. As I live in Australia, I thought it would be months or years before I saw a copy; yes we can buy anything from Amazon but that also involves swallowing the international postage costs.

I've never really thought of looking to my local library for knitting books; I just assumed there would be a few dated volumes from the 1960s, 70s and early 80s and nothing worth considering. But I wanted to find a particular Elizabeth Zimmermann pattern and thought that as her books are more than 25 years old there was a chance it may be at the library. As it turned out the library did not stock any Elizabeth Zmmermann books - but it did have some surprisingly recent knitting volumes, including Big Girl Knits.

I'm not sure I'll actually knit any of the jumpers but there is a really interesting section on design and fitting. And it has been really great to be able to have a look at this book before deciding to hand over my hard earned cash.

The indignity of it all!

Smudgey was released from hospital this morning and as you can see he is not impressed with his new neck-ruff (which stops him licking his wound). He spent some time walking backwards today (in the mistaken belief that he could walk out of the collar). Jeff put his food on a flat platter so he can eat. While Smudgey prefers an outdoor toilet, he's going to have to get used to his kitty litter for the next fortnight.

Despite being annoyed with us for abandoning him at the hospital for 2 days, he's decided he wants our company - on his terms that is. He is currently sitting next to me on the good computer chair while I'm on an old chair.

Visiting the Lort Smith Animal Hospital is a rather surreal experience. In many ways it is just like visiting a normal hospital; the same sterile look and plastic waiting chairs and a triage nurse who explains that your appointment may be moved back if an emergency comes in. Then the PA announcements come - the pet's name and your surname; "Coco Smith to room five... Smudgey B---- to room six..."

The vet, who must have seen some pretty bad things in her time, winces as she looks at Smudgey's backside and tells us "This is serious" and that she is going to have to admit him for surgery. We're given the option of contacting a private vet at goodness knows what cost for doing surgery on a Sunday or leaving Smudgey at the semi-socialised not-for-profit hospital for an operation some time over the next two days.

We have seen how the truly ill and injured animals always take priority at the hospital, and are confident that they will operate on Smudgey before he deteriorates any further. We don't have a regular vet and would have less confidence in one picked at random from the phone book than one working at the Lort Smith. We book Smudgey into the hospital.

On Monday afternoon Jeff gets a welcome call from the Lort Smith hospital. They've operated on Smudgey, it wasn't as bad as expected and he will be ready to be picked up on Tuesday morning. The final bill, while not cheap, is a lot less than we expected and probably half that a private vet would have charged.

Get Well Smudgey

No wonder Smudgey is looking annoyed in this picture. He probably already had the abscess on his anus that burst over the weekend. Poor cat! My own backside is sore even thinking about it.

Smudgey is currently at the Lort Smith Animal Hospital, recovering from surgery and we can pick him up tomorrow morning. YAY!!! Apparently he is doing well, taking his medicine and drinking, but is quite grumpy. Now wouldn't you be grumpy if an abscess burst on your anus and you had been injected, shaved, cut and sewn up again?

If only he was covered on our family health insurance...

Here is a photo of Smudgey looking much cuter but still regal. It's the wallpaper for my computer at work and home.

Maybe it is something about the cooler weather kicking in but I felt compelled to start another pair of socks. I had bought some plain black Opal yarn earlier this year and decided to team it with some leftover Trekking to create colourful toes and heels. It's my favourite sock pattern - simple but very comfortable to wear. It's basically a plain toe-up sock with 2X2 rib on the foot top and around the calves. I love this pattern; I feel so good wearing socks I've knitted myself from it.

The Trekking is definitely nicer to knit with than the Opal but I'm glad to have the plain yarn so I can make these socks.

Irish Hiking Scarf heading for the post office

The Irish Hiking Scarf is knitted, washed and ready to head overseas. It ended up a little longer than I expected, which is good as I was terrified it would be far too short. I hope my pal enjoys wearing it as much as I enjoyed knitting it. This has been a great experience - I have never knitted cables before so this took me out of my comfort zone, but it turned out to be much easier than anticipated. I'll head off to the post office tomorrow with 27 pieces of identification and documents to ensure the USA will let the parcel in. I've popped in a couple of Australian souvenirs which I hope get through.

Both my pals seem really lovely; I just hope my most recent emails have been getting through as I haven't heard for either of them lately.

Adultery at the Green Grocers

"I feel like we are committing adultery," said Jeff as we walked into Toscano's on Saturday. I knew exactly what he meant. We were entering an orgy of middle-class mothers squeezed into a respectable Kew shop front. And the feeling was compounded when we bumped into the parents of a friend of mine. "I didn't know you shopped here!" they exclaimed.

"It's our first time," I said weakly. "We normally go to Greythorn."

Toscano's is an institution of the leafy eastern Melbourne suburbs, a hugely popular large green grocery store that combines fine produce with reasonable prices. It is always full and always bursting with parents with prams and toddlers and smug little smiles because they know they are buying from the best value best quality fruit and vegetable store in Melbourne. It is insufferable. Jeff and I love good quality fruit and vegetables but we can't stand crowds, especially not smug-faced 4WD driving middle-class parents - hence we normally shopped at a smaller local store with friendly staff. But over the past few months the quality had been dropping and the prices had been rising. We had no choice. We had to find another option. Earlier that day we had tried the supposed Farmers' Market, but found the choice fairly limited. Hence Toscano's.

I wish I could say that the produce was no better than Greythorn; that the prices weren't lower - but I can't. There was a huge choice. Everything was of excellent quality. The prices were reasonable. The fruit and veggies fresh and tasty. No wonder the place was overflowing with people. It was surely worth 30 minutes of jostling with crowds and we would be foolish to not return next week.

I just wish I didn't feel so dirty for changing green grocer stores.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail in Lego

Jeff's urban camouflage scarf

Specifications:
Yarn: 4 X 50g Mondial 'Bizarre' 100% fine merino wool colourway 625 (plus tiny amount of other black wool for final triangle)
Needles: 4.5mm straight bamboo
Pattern: Multidirectional Diagonal Scarf
Length: 185cm/74 inches
Width: 15 cm/6 inches

Irish Hiking Scarf finished

Posting a picture requires me to find the camera and I don't think that is going to happen tonight.

I've finished the knitting for the Irish Hiking Scarf. I'm not sure how it happened but it finalised at about 70 inches which is a bit longer than my knittee requested. Hopefully she can live with that. It's certainly not ridiculously trip-up-your-feet long, and I'd prefer the extra yarn in the scarf rather than cluttering up my stash because it is too good to chuck out but too short to do anything useful with.

I'll make up the package to send out this weekend. I'm not sure whether I'll do the cruel Australian thing and include Vegemite (the most repulsive spread on the planet). Tim Tams are delicious but a bit bulky; maybe Caramelo Koalas.

One of the evil enablers on the Melbourne Stitch 'n' Bitch list (hi Larissa) posted details of a 20% off sale at Cleggs last week. I decided to use the opportunity to try some new yarn, the deliciously soft Lane Mondial 'Bizarre' 100% pure fine merino yarn. There was an interesting black/grey/tan/beige mix that made me think of wolves and I decided to get this colourway and knit a scarf for Jeff. He quite likes plain garter stitch which is not the most exciting thing to knit. I decided to use the Multidirectional Diagonal Scarf pattern which is a bit more interesting way of knitting garter stitch and is generally great for show-casing variegated yarns.

I'll have to post a picture of the scarf. Overall I am not overwhelmed by this yarn and doubt I will buy it again. It knits up into a lovely soft fabric and feels great. But unfortunately the yarn tends to split as one knits and I'm not impressed with the way the colour pools. It's also quite pricey ($8.40/ball on sale - $10.50 full price). Still it is great to try a new yarn and it is good semi-mindless knitting for in front of the TV.

Best version of Star Wars Episode One

YouTube clip of the day: Weird Al Yankovic 'The Saga Begins'
Spoof of Star Wars Episode One (the first of the new ones) set to the music of 'Bye Bye American Pie'. Defintely more entertaining than watching the film.

Halfway through Easter long weekend...

Irish Hiking Scarf is now up to 48 inches. No point posting a new photo because it is just a case of more of the same. I think it'll make it to the 55 inch mark (she says nervously chewing her acrylic fingernails).

Ivy that somehow managed to grow over the next door neighbour's fence and up the side of the house has been cut down. Only destroyed one pair of gardening gloves in the process and managed to get almost half of it into the green waste bin. Resolve to ensure it does not get so out of control again. Remind myself that I made the same resolution18 months ago.

Horseradish roots have been replanted with the hope they will grow in time for next Pesach. I enthusiastically scooped several shovels of compost-dirt and earthworms into the garden bed and mix with several buckets of water. Will try and remember to water them at least one more time before next Pesach. I have not so much a green thumb as a brown and grey one. Even weeds die on me. I cannot explain why the Ivy is so virulent. Maybe it is because the roots are in the neighbour's yard.

Returned to the gym for the first time in a week. Am relieved to discover that despite Easter (eggs and hot-cross buns) and Pesach (2 eight-course meals and enough matzo to feed an entire African village for a week) that I have only re-gained a kilogram. Resolve to be more careful over the next few weeks and make more effort to get to the gym and walk to work. If I can achieve two out of those three I at least should not regain any more weight.

Discover Weird Al Jankovic on YouTube. Yes, I am a geek behind the times - this gem was first posted in September 2006.

Knitting site of the day. Harry Potter and the Book Seven KAL (Knit-along). Of course. Makes perfect sense. The scary thing is that I relate to this and may have even joined had I discovered it earlier. Re-read all six previous books, discuss them and knit Harry Potter - themed scarfs, hats and jumpers while waiting for the final book to be released. Someone has even created a Quidditch jumper. From there I found a link to a very good Sorting Hat quiz.

Which Hogwarts house will you be sorted into?

Star Trek and the Holy Grail

Question: What happens when geeks have too much time on their hands?
Answer: This
A must for Monty Python and Star Trek fans.



I have been wasting way too much time and broadband on YouTube over the past week but it is just absolutely compelling. I think I dropped my jaw to the floor last Saturday and it is still there today.

It started with me looking for an old 1980s music clip. Before long I was watching a Lego-animated movie of Star Wars versus Star Trek. The voice-over from the trailer to Pride and Prejudice set to scenes from Harry Potter. And noticing at least half-a-dozen re-edited Harry Potter clips implying a homo-erotic relationship between arch enemies Harry and Draco.

There are versions of 'Brokeback Trek' for fans of The Original Series and Next Generation - the love that dare not speak its name with the added intergalactic inter-species twist.

Final Fantasy may have been the worst movie ever made but it is being redeemed on YouTube where geeks have re-edited scenes and created an amazing film clip for the classic David Bowie song from Labyrinth. Then there are the geeks who have spent God-knows-how-many-hours creating Sims versions of famous music video clips.

Yes, there is a lot of crap on YouTube and it is very easy to waste a lot of time there. But there is some very funny stuff there too.

Scattered thoughts

Irish Hiking Scarf: 94cm (38 inches) and well into my second skein. Hoping and praying there will be enough yarn for my knitters request for a 55 inch scarf.

Preparation for Pesach: Expensive. Spent $230 at the grocery store and then realised we had forgotten to buy eggs, potatoes and Chicken Maryland (for soup). Spent $50 during our second visit to the supermarket. Discover Coles and Safeway supermarkets no longer stock Chicken Maryland or have in-house butchers who actually prepare the meat - everything arrives prepackaged from central warehouse. Chicken shop at Doncaster Westfield closed down due to shopping centre renovations. Damn! Third shopping trip, went to our favourite quality butcher in Hawthorn - no chicken Maryland on display but staff obligingly go out the back and track down the wretched pieces. I love proper local businesses. It seems that few people make soup using actual chicken anymore. Soup currently cooking on the stove.

Condition of the bitter herbs: Two scraggly roots have survived the drought - enough for display. Bitter lettuce and pickled horseradish in the jar will have to do for the meal.

Pesach gift for 7-year-old second-cousin: There is so much badly-made crap around. Jeff finds a Slinky on sale in a bookstore (naturally). We have been playing with it all day. I have the horrible feeling that it will be a present all the adults will play with while the 7-year-old looks on in bewilderment.

House cleaning: Cats are in shock. We moved all the furniture out of the main dining room and hall in preparation for the carpet cleaners coming tomorrow. Scraped approximately 500 cobwebs from around the corners of the ceiling. Blackened two clothes wiping down skirting boards and window sills. Notice that the house-shifting (from the drought) has led to the creation of several more cracks. Foundations still sound so will resolutely ignore the cracks - everyone in the neighbourhood is in the same boat.

A timely discovery: Bag of old t-shirts and hiking clothes in garage in my current size. Yay! T-shirts to wear at the gym that won't reveal my bra-strap.

State of the nation: Depressing. I think history will judge our current leaders very harshly. The case of David Hicks is beginning to resemble a Kafka novel - after five years of imprisonment without charge he has pleaded guilty to a crime that didn't exist until 18-months ago - and is now being threatened with being jailed for a further 7 years for perjury if he claims he only pleaded guilty because he didn't think he had a hope in hell of a fair trial in Guantanamo Bay. Conveniently for Howard it appears Hicks' sentence - agreed to in a plea-deal - means he will remain in jail until just after the Australian Federal elections. It's enough to make anyone sick. Hicks may be stupid and racist and unworthy of sympathy, but the treatment of him and the abandonment of the rule of law or any semblance of due process is bad for us as a society and nation.

From the sublime to the ridiculous: Some people have way too much time on their hands. If you type "Harry Potter" into YouTube you will find Lego versions, a Sims version and even a re-edit of footage suggesting a homoerotic relationship between Harry and Draco.