Waiting, waiting...

The bub was due yesterday but despite 3 weeks of intermittent contractions everything is still "locked up tight" according to the doctor. Accordingly an eviction notice has been served on the bub - if it's not out by next Thursday morning, I will be induced.

The always-funny zephyrama (Ravelry link) has written an appropriate notification for the bub.

Dear TheknitaholicBABY,

In accordance with the Womb of Maternal Bounty rental contract of 2009, we are giving you one week’s notice to vacate the premises.
In doing so you are required, as per the WOMB contract, to leave the premises in the same state that you found it and take with you any-all belongings.
If by the end of the week’s notice you haven’t seen fit to a: leave the premises or b: clean it, the owners may exercise their rights as set out by the WOMB contract.
This may involve the hiring of contractors to assist your move and subsequent cleaning and this can be done with or without your express permission. Such hiring of contractors will be done at your expense and payment by means of humiliating baby stories will be due on your 18th or 21st birthday, or as suits the owners.

If you have any queries in regards to the WOMB lease termination we suggest that you move out before the end of the week as it is not the owners fault that you did not read the fine print.

Yours, Zephyrama acting on behalf of the owners of the property set out in the WOMB contract.