Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The curse of Caulfield

To my absolute delight, one of my best friends has recently moved back to Melbourne.  Next week she'll be moving into a new home in Caulfield.  She will be for me the ultimate test as to the strength of the curse of Caulfield.

The curse of Caulfield is an invisible series of concentric force fields that seem affect those who live in or near Caulfield.
  • The first force field is fairly weak and just makes residents disinclined to go north of Dandenong Road or south of North Road
  • The second force field is stronger and causes them discomfort if they need to head north of Toorak Road or south of South road
  •  The third field is stronger still, causing acute pain if they are asked to travel to Kew, Doncaster or Moorabbin
  • By the fourth force field, which intersects Foote Street, Templestowe, most Caulfield residents are in squirming agony.  Unless they are heading for lunch at a Yarra Valley winery.
  • And they seem to believe that the path to my residence, a further 15km further north-east is guarded by fire-breathing dragons.  Which is handy for keeping certain people at bay.
I've never really appreciated the appeal of a flat concrete suburb dotted with over-priced bigger-than-the-block concrete houses.  In every socio-economic, political and aesthetic sense I clash with the suburb.  But I know quite a few people who live there, including a former Lower Templestowe resident who now tells me how wonderful her life is now that she never has to drive further east than Murrumbeena or further north than the Harold Holt Pool in Glen Iris.  (I can't imagine having such a tiny, narrow outlook on the wrold.)  It will be an interesting test of our friendship if she is willing to endure the trek to J & my housewarming.  I did the reverse journey the other week - it only took 50 minutes.  Plus another 10-15 minutes to find parking, which is not a problem in our town.  But I digress.

My newly-returned friend grew up in Doncaster where her parents still live.  I had hope when she made the observation that my home was only a 20 minute drive from there.

But ever since signing the lease for her new house in Caulfield, which takes effect from one week into the new school year, she has been complaining about how for a whole week she will have to schlep her kids all the way from Doncaster to their new school in Caulfield.

Maybe the curse kicks in, the moment someone decides to move to Caulfield.

No comments: